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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Haven't seen one of these around, so I figure we'd best start one! Post your funny/corny motorcycle jokes here!

What do you call a squid on a Ducati?

Calamari.

:rimshot:
 

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:happy1:
 

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Bob was out riding on his bike one cold day when the zipper on his leather jacket split. Since he still had a way to go, he stopped, put the jacket on backwards to keep the cold air off his chest and continued rider. Unfortunately, he his a slick spot on a corner and crashed into a tree, somewhat stunned.

When the ambulance arrived a while later, they asked the good samaritan on the scene what happened. "Well, when I arrived there was the crashed bike at the tree and the rider was stumbling around. But by the time I got his helmet turned around straight, he was dead."
 

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Bob and Ruth went for a ride,
to see what they could see.
They hit a bump, and Bob rode on,
Speeding Ruthlessly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
^I like it! :)

Come on, this can't be it!
 

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There was a pretty long one a while back. Had a lot of gems in it. New threads are always nice though for any funny new guys.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
FNG's?
 

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Cruiser rides into a bar and says "I had to lay her down when I saw that bar"

A sports rider rides into a bar and say "my tires were not warm enough to let me avoid that bar"

Dual sport rides into a bar and and says "I thought this could go over anything?"

A stunter rides into a bar and says "I ment to do that"

And SV haver walks into a bar and says "I will take a coke and your best cheese burger". Cause you know we are all smart here.

Okay this is my best shot.
 

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Cruiser rides into a bar and says "I had to lay her down when I saw that bar"

A sports rider rides into a bar and say "my tires were not warm enough to let me avoid that bar"

Dual sport rides into a bar and and says "I thought this could go over anything?"

A stunter rides into a bar and says "I ment to do that"

And SV haver walks into a bar and says "I will take a coke and your best cheese burger". Cause you know we are all smart here.

Okay this is my best shot.
 

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This biker rode to work the other day, and came out for lunch.
However, when he came out there was a cop writing a parking ticket.
So the biker went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
The cop ignored him and continued writing the ticket.
So the biker called the cop a pencil-necked Nazi.
The cop glared at him and started writing another ticket for having worn tires!
So then the biker called the cop a piece of horse****.
The cop finished the second ticket and put it on the bike's handlebars with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes and the more the biker abused the cop, the more tickets he wrote.
Of course, the biker didn't care. His motorcycle was parked around the corner.
 

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Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women


• Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 3000 miles.
• Motorcycles' curves never sag.
• Motorcycles last longer.
• Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
• You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month.
• Motorcycles don't have parents.
• Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
• You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
• You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
• If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
• You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is really worn.
• If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
• Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
• When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
• Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
• Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
• If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
• If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
• If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
• If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
• You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
• You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
• If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
• You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and itwon'tt get sore.
• Your parents don't stay in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
• Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
• Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
• Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
• Motorcycles don't;t care if you are late.
• You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
• It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
• If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
• You can't get a disease from a motorcycle you don't know.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
:roflmao:

Those are great!
 

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A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided that he needed a career change. He'd always enjoyed tinkering with motorcycle engines so thought he'd become a motorcycle mechanic. The good doctor went along to the American Institute of Motorcycling, the best motorcycle mechanics school in the country, and completed the training class. The final exam was to strip a bike engine completely and reassemble it - obviously back into perfect working order. So our gynecologist friend did the test and anxiously awaited the result. The day he received the results he got quite a surprise, he got 150%! He quickly phoned the instructor and queried the mark. The instructor said, "No, no that's right. First I gave you 50% for stripping down the engine -- a very thorough job. Next I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job really. Then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the muffler."
 

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Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation died and went to Heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven". Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the throne room, and introduced him to God.

Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Oh, yes." "Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

There is too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
It chatters constantly at high speeds.
Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust, and finally,
The maintenance costs are outrageous."

"Hmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to his celestial Super Computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention then yours".
 

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:lmao::lmao:ROFLOL:lmao::lmao:
 

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This is great, keep em coming!!!
 
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