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Just remember, you’re allowed to be a little selfish at times. If the bike makes you happy, like mine does, never give it up. The problem is that even if your wife is torn between her wants and your happiness, it’ll always sour your relationship a little.
I started riding as a kid, first on dirt bikes, enduros, trail 90's, and getting my first road bike at 14. When I was 24 I got married and my wife asked me to sell the bike because she worried about my safety. So I did. I was miserable. Every day I looked in the want ads, and every bike that rode by I'd call out by make and model. After six months or so my wife said "I can see how much you miss riding, you should get another bike, just promise me you'll be careful." That day I rode home in my new-to-me bike, and my mojo came back. That was 33 years ago, and I can't tell you how many times my wife has told me that was the best decision she ever made, because, as she puts it "you looked so sad every time a bike rode by".
 

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A 75 YO motorcycle guy I know convinced his wife track days are not dangerous, and then started building an RD400. Hoping to do some track days at HPR with him this Spring. Wives are generally right though, bikes can fuck you up.
 

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Discussion Starter · #63 ·
Quick update. My wound is getting better, but it’s still a long way from full recovery. I have yet to sell the bike. I want to fix it and just leave it parked until things cool down a bit. But being partially disabled, no sick leave since Monday, and going through the nightmare of applying for temporary disability is not earning me any points. Good thing we have a rainy day fund.


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Discussion Starter · #66 ·
Everyone should have one of these. The bigger, the better. So good for you on that.
Now, heal well. :)
After years…decades of living paycheck to paycheck regardless of how much money I made, I had to grow up. And glad I did because I’d be quite screwed right now. Thanks for the kind words man.


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Thanks for posting the video(s), I revisited this and today it reminds me even turns I am familiar with can present challenges and dangers I previously had discounted. The outside of the turn sucked you in/down like a whirlpool as you tipped into and were committed/confident with your path. This also reminds me motorcycles have only a couple square inches of contact for traction.

My front tire lost traction like being on black ice when I went around a car taking a left. My path led through a puddle which had slippery silt on the bottom. Fortunately I was pretty much upright when the front tire began to slide out. My first thoughts were to keep her upright and not to over react. I am no expert by any means and feel not panicking is the key to getting through situations. Looking back at my close calls it is not giving up is what got me through them. Recently I road across Wyoming in high wind warnings. At first when a sudden stronger gust amplified the ever present pushing from my port side I would roll off the throttle out of fear. It was kind of a natural reaction to an unfamiliar situation. Basically I was giving up and endangering myself more. I found keeping it in a lower gear keeping the RPM around 6-7k gave me quick response to blast back at the invisible challenger. We know if we want the bike to go a direction we push on the grip on the side in which we wish to go. Some gust were so strong and long that throttling and pushing the handgrip were not enough to maintain my lane that I had to pull on the other grip as well. I developed this technique while screaming F-bombs and slowly being pushed out of my lane. My tires now look like I road for hours on a high bank NASCAR track from riding across Wyoming at a 15 degree angle.

Somehow things seem to always work out. Don't feel bad about applying for assistance; I would feel bad if you didn't. Hospitals have programs to help with bills, utility companies offer lower rates for low income households and there is no shame (in my eyes) to utilizing food banks or other charitable things to keep you floating. I could be wrong and most of these programs are INCOME dependent not based on resources (things of value that could be sold, bank accounts, rainy day funds, etc...). I forgot you are married and most assistance programs have thresholds for different household sizes. I am just trying to help as I have been down this road and one can get depressed as the rainy day funds diminish. Take it from someone that has slid down this road before, these programs are not retroactive. The sooner you get these things set up the longer the rainy day funds will be around. BTW the half price electricity works just as good as the full price electricity. Please don't beat yourself up over this and remember that is why they are called accidents.

I took the time to write this as like I mentioned I have been laid up before. While recouping there are many hours for our minds have to go places. Although I do not know you it helps when we have others on our side. BTW this took me over an hour and half to write. I have had numerous TBI's (traumatic brain injuries) including a puncture wound to left temporal lobe (where speech and language happen) which got MRSA. I don't know if this is highjacking a thread or if this should be posted elsewhere. Admins, please feel free to relocate this if necessary. I just want the OP know that he is in my thoughts and to give him something personalized to read while mending.
 

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Discussion Starter · #68 ·
Thanks for posting the video(s), I revisited this and today it reminds me even turns I am familiar with can present challenges and dangers I previously had discounted. The outside of the turn sucked you in/down like a whirlpool as you tipped into and were committed/confident with your path. This also reminds me motorcycles have only a couple square inches of contact for traction.

My front tire lost traction like being on black ice when I went around a car taking a left. My path led through a puddle which had slippery silt on the bottom. Fortunately I was pretty much upright when the front tire began to slide out. My first thoughts were to keep her upright and not to over react. I am no expert by any means and feel not panicking is the key to getting through situations. Looking back at my close calls it is not giving up is what got me through them. Recently I road across Wyoming in high wind warnings. At first when a sudden stronger gust amplified the ever present pushing from my port side I would roll off the throttle out of fear. It was kind of a natural reaction to an unfamiliar situation. Basically I was giving up and endangering myself more. I found keeping it in a lower gear keeping the RPM around 6-7k gave me quick response to blast back at the invisible challenger. We know if we want the bike to go a direction we push on the grip on the side in which we wish to go. Some gust were so strong and long that throttling and pushing the handgrip were not enough to maintain my lane that I had to pull on the other grip as well. I developed this technique while screaming F-bombs and slowly being pushed out of my lane. My tires now look like I road for hours on a high bank NASCAR track from riding across Wyoming at a 15 degree angle.

Somehow things seem to always work out. Don't feel bad about applying for assistance; I would feel bad if you didn't. Hospitals have programs to help with bills, utility companies offer lower rates for low income households and there is no shame (in my eyes) to utilizing food banks or other charitable things to keep you floating. I could be wrong and most of these programs are INCOME dependent not based on resources (things of value that could be sold, bank accounts, rainy day funds, etc...). I forgot you are married and most assistance programs have thresholds for different household sizes. I am just trying to help as I have been down this road and one can get depressed as the rainy day funds diminish. Take it from someone that has slid down this road before, these programs are not retroactive. The sooner you get these things set up the longer the rainy day funds will be around. BTW the half price electricity works just as good as the full price electricity. Please don't beat yourself up over this and remember that is why they are called accidents.

I took the time to write this as like I mentioned I have been laid up before. While recouping there are many hours for our minds have to go places. Although I do not know you it helps when we have others on our side. BTW this took me over an hour and half to write. I have had numerous TBI's (traumatic brain injuries) including a puncture wound to left temporal lobe (where speech and language happen) which got MRSA. I don't know if this is highjacking a thread or if this should be posted elsewhere. Admins, please feel free to relocate this if necessary. I just want the OP know that he is in my thoughts and to give him something personalized to read while mending.
I can’t thank you enough for putting so much effort in replying to this thread. I value everything you said, and it was a good read. Sadly I don’t qualify for any assistance other than TDI. But we will pull through.


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And at the track..........
Or maybe you prefer to say the limit is lower on public roads. :)
Hate to say it, but I never made it to the track. Maybe I should :) I'm not encouraging anyone to drag any portion of their bike or gear on public roads. It ain't smart, but it's a lot of fun ;)

This is a huge reminder for myself to not ride when emotions are high. I have totaled 2 cars in my younger years driving pissed off/upset/emotional.
Yeah. The thing is, I wasn't even that upset and I wasn't riding any faster than any other day. All it took, was the memory of the call, which wasn't as much upsetting, as it took my attention away from what I was doing. Climbing up to the road and walking for ~2miles until I got some cell phone coverage, gave me the time to cool off and appreciate the saying: "helmet drops, bull$#!t stops". I really got better at staying focused, recognizing when I'm too tired or too upset to ride, and letting go quickly when something upsets me while riding.

It's interesting, that about 2 years after that crash, while I was studying for a pilot license, I read a chapter in the pilot handbook, about aeromedical factors:
it really struck me that this stuff has been figured out already, and I didn't have to learn it the hard way... In particular I mean page 17-13, the section on "Fatigue". It sounds obvious when you read it, but taking it in really helps.

@1netto: get better man. Everything will be OK.
 

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Discussion Starter · #70 ·
Hate to say it, but I never made it to the track. Maybe I should :) I'm not encouraging anyone to drag any portion of their bike or gear on public roads. It ain't smart, but it's a lot of fun ;)



Yeah. The thing is, I wasn't even that upset and I wasn't riding any faster than any other day. All it took, was the memory of the call, which wasn't as much upsetting, as it took my attention away from what I was doing. Climbing up to the road and walking for ~2miles until I got some cell phone coverage, gave me the time to cool off and appreciate the saying: "helmet drops, bull$#!t stops". I really got better at staying focused, recognizing when I'm too tired or too upset to ride, and letting go quickly when something upsets me while riding.

It's interesting, that about 2 years after that crash, while I was studying for a pilot license, I read a chapter in the pilot handbook, about aeromedical factors:
it really struck me that this stuff has been figured out already, and I didn't have to learn it the hard way... In particular I mean page 17-13, the section on "Fatigue". It sounds obvious when you read it, but taking it in really helps.

@1netto: get better man. Everything will be OK.
Thanks! Improving every day but I just wish I could heal faster. I ride hard on the street because I live in an island with no racetrack. We used to have one, and did almost 3 seasons of track days there, but it closed in 2006. There’s a new motor sports complex getting built, but it’s several years out.


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Discussion Starter · #72 ·
You need to float that thing over to Maui to run a few rings around it…
Maui would’ve been fun! I’d take it to Hana!

Sad news is that I sold her yesterday. Good news is that it went to a good home. But super bummed. Wife hated the bike, and made it clear she doesn’t want me near a motorcycle again. I love riding, and it makes extremely sad, but if it’s riding motorcycle or my marriage, then that’s an easy choice.



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80mph crash! You were so lucky. Crashes are life changing in so many ways.

I was injured once. Not seriously but 2 months off work.

Wife was injured twice. First was not serious but the second one was. She was lucky to survive with multiple injuries. 5 years later with some metal bits, scarring, and neverending pain she still rides.
 

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Right on that. Priorities 👌
Yup. At this stage of my life, I realized that if your wife is one to deny you a chance at happiness, then that’s no relationship to be in. Granted, that’s barring accidents or your taking off and leaving her behind at every opportunity… 😉

@1neeto, the Hana highway was exactly what I was thinking. I’d looked into renting a Porsche for that run, but the place went out of business a few weeks before. Glad I didn’t, though. More time stopping and looking on that road! Ah well. So long as she’s worth it…

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Discussion Starter · #78 ·
80mph crash! You were so lucky. Crashes are life changing in so many ways.

I was injured once. Not seriously but 2 months off work.

Wife was injured twice. First was not serious but the second one was. She was lucky to survive with multiple injuries. 5 years later with some metal bits, scarring, and neverending pain she still rides.
Yeah I’m not seriously injured but it has kept me off work, and won’t be able to work for at least two more weeks. My sick leave ran out so I’m not making any money right now.
Yup. At this stage of my life, I realized that if your wife is one to deny you a chance at happiness, then that’s no relationship to be in. Granted, that’s barring accidents or your taking off and leaving her behind at every opportunity…

@1neeto, the Hana highway was exactly what I was thinking. I’d looked into renting a Porsche for that run, but the place went out of business a few weeks before. Glad I didn’t, though. More time stopping and looking on that road! Ah well. So long as she’s worth it…

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Yeah I want to be that guy that says screw it, I’ll be happy in my motorcycle. But I value her more than my motorcycle passion. I trust that own day she’ll understand how much this means Ro me and let me be.


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I'm sorry for your loss 'neeto, women have a sense of the preciousness and fragility of life that men don't always seem to pick up on. There's a thread over on the ZRX site about a guy who had a head-on with an RV that has prompted some reflection. At age 68 I know in ways that I couldn't when I was 34 the absolute horror and the complete unacceptability of ever being broken like that. Try and honor that part of your wife who knows that also, it seems like she loves you.
 

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Maybe we should all stay home and play video games every day, work from home, get our food delivered, never leave the house, that way we are "safe"...

Marriage is a partnership, both supporting each others wants and desires. I think its selfish for your wife not wanting you to not have fun because she is worried you will get hurt.
Maybe you can tell her you appreciate her fears and you'll do what's necessary to be considerate of that by getting the appropriate safety gear ( maybe step it up with a air vest) and instruction.
 
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