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From an e-mail:
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From the cover
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I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:
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This will go in my bathroom:
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And who can forget the awesome fasion that was, 1977!
Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school:
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Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your arpits, grandpa.
Here's how to get your as kicked in high school:
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This kid looks like he's pretendingt to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyoe knows is really an undercover cop, who is pretending to be 15.
Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:
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This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-Block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-pice, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.
Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:
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If you look at that picture quickly, it look s like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened, it will. Oh ye. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.
Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:
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He looks like he's reaching fora gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.
Here's how to get your ass kicked in a meeting:
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If you wear this suite and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.
How to get your ass kicked on every day, up to and including St. Patrick's Day:
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Dear god in h eaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensambles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.
In this next one, Your Search for VALUE Ends at Penney's.
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And so does your search for chest hair.
And this... seriously... no words:
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Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What ... the... &%$#. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.
Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977, it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?
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I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best."
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=====
From the cover
I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:
This will go in my bathroom:
And who can forget the awesome fasion that was, 1977!
Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school:
Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your arpits, grandpa.
Here's how to get your as kicked in high school:
This kid looks like he's pretendingt to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyoe knows is really an undercover cop, who is pretending to be 15.
Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:
This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-Block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-pice, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.
Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:
If you look at that picture quickly, it look s like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened, it will. Oh ye. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.
Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:
He looks like he's reaching fora gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.
Here's how to get your ass kicked in a meeting:
If you wear this suite and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.
How to get your ass kicked on every day, up to and including St. Patrick's Day:
Dear god in h eaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensambles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.
In this next one, Your Search for VALUE Ends at Penney's.
And so does your search for chest hair.
And this... seriously... no words:
Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What ... the... &%$#. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.
Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977, it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?
I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best."
