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what's the point of marriage?

8K views 142 replies 33 participants last post by  mad8vskillz 
#1 ·
had an argument with teh gf. I don't see the point of marriage.
Everything you can do while married, you can do while not (except some rather minor things like insurance).
So what's the point?



/waiting for someone to tell me that the bible says so
 
#14 ·
Nope, you can't do everything. Marriage shows a higher level of commitment then being bf/gf can.

Think about it, if you are going on a long group ride or to the track, who are you going to want to go with someone who puts nothing in and can walk away and leave you high and dry at any moment or a person that puts his/her time in and thus will stick with the plan?

Same with marriage. Hard to plan your life around when your partner hasn't committed to staying with you. Not saying couples have to get married and people can't be BF/GF for ever. More that both need to be on the same page for it to work.
 
#16 ·
Not only could a significant other not make medical decisions, in many cases, they might not be able to even see each other without family consent. This is the primary reason I support marriage equality.

I think a lot of people invest too much power in marriage (ladies in particular) in that they think that the act itself changes or makes things better when in reality its only a legal contract. So many seem to focus on some "perfect, fairy tale" wedding and then afterwards, it's like, oh, this is difficult.
 
#17 ·
Legal issues are the main reason for marriage. In addition to the health decision issues, inheritance of your property, joint property issues and tax issues can all make a difference.
With the recent spate of anti-marriage bills aimed at limiting same sex marriage, some of the laws have been so poorly written as to imply, if not flat-out forbid, that non-married same sex couples have no legal status under the law. Have kids, but aren't married? Could be a problem depending on where you live. Some of the laws could also be interpreted as to prevent any legal relationship between unmarried couples, regardless of sex.
If you die and want your stuff going to your significant other, if you aren't married, he/she may well have no legal status and everything would go to other family members or be decided by them.
There are plenty of good reasons to get married. True, if things don't work out, it's harder to resolve the situation than just saying it's over and I'm out, but the legal issues addressed by marriage/divorce help address these situations and provide a society-approved mechanism to handle the breakup and disposition of assets.
Pluses and minuses considered, I personally feel that marriage has more pluses than minuses.

DISCLAIMER: My Wife and I will have been married 39 years this December. It hasn't always been perfect, but overall, I am thankful we are still together. Besides, although she worries about me getting injured, she encourages me to ride and tries to consider potential riding routes when planning vacations.
 
#67 ·
Legal issues are the main reason for marriage. In addition to the health decision issues, inheritance of your property, joint property issues and tax issues can all make a difference.
Yup, excluding romantic ideals and religious propaganda, it's purely for legal reasons.

Even if you have a will and other documents, it's very possible a good lawyer can get it bypassed and award rights or property to blood relatives.

2 of my favorite people in the world got married when they were in their 80s purely for legal reasons, because if she died (as the homeowner), he would not receive the home, even if she willed it to him as her son (terrible man) would do everything he could to grab it. Not only that, but they knew how each other preferred to die, and it ensured that the other would be laid to rest in the manner they liked. So on, so forth.

Having seen what my step-uncle did after my aunt died, I've discovered there's absolutely nothing sacred in wills and many other documents if you can afford a very good lawyer with no scruples.
 
#18 ·
Some good (and damn funny!) points. I tend to flip the question around. Why not get married? Especailly all these people with kids? Let's have a kid together, but get married?? Man that is just way too much commitment for me. I never understood that logic. I've heard people tell me "Marriage is just a piece of paper". Well if that's your attitude you are missing the point, and nothing I can say will help you.
 
#20 ·
I'm just going to leave this here:

Pennsylvania: A common-law marriage was established if, before 1/1/2005, a man and woman exchanged words that indicated that they intended to be married at the present time and they also held themselves out to the community as married (introducing eachother as husband and wife, filing joint taxes, etc.).











Are you already married?! :eek:
 
#23 ·
The point of marriage is so that women can hold that over men as proof they are in fact "theirs.".

I had a child out of wedlock with my sons mother, we were together for awhile then broke up. Thank F'n god we were not married. Hell, I've seen marriages that failed without kids be more costly for both parties than some who have kids.

Don't know man, what sucks about marriage is not the "forever" part, it's the "well what if we can't do it anymore" part? That's what scares me, and excuse me if I'm pessimistic about marriage but the stats are there, half of them fail.

It's a different time this day and age, before marriage was a necessity for men and women because a family couldn't function properly without the man working, and the woman doing the house stuff and taking care/raising the kids. Now, men and women don't NEED each other like they used to, so if the marriage sucks ass there is less incentive to stay.
 
#24 ·
Evolutionarily speaking, marriage is an outgrowth of the "pair bond" necessary to allow pregnant and recently-delivered women and their children to survive during a time when they are much more vulnerable to predation and starvation than other comparable mammals. Sex is the glue for that pair bond. With the exception of bonobos, humans may be the only species where females are (theoretically) receptive to copulation, and males are looking to copulate every day of the year.

If the pair bond is about sex, marriage is about property rights. Exclusivity of sexual contact encourages males to take good care of offspring and their moms. If mom only coupled with him, he can assume the baby is his. Marriage transforms screwing, and all the other relations necessary to secure the continuity of a pair bond and the family it produces, into a set of property rights. Sexual exclusivity is the fundamental one, but rights dealing with the status of women (available or not; in effect "owned" or not) and the disposition of property are part of the constellation of rights that are focused around the staus of marriage.

I don't see the point of marriage.
Everything you can do while married, you can do while not (except some rather minor things like insurance).
So what's the point?
Evolutionarily speaking, you're telling your girlfriend that she should screw as many other guys as she wants. You are encouraging her to find a better sperm match for her eggs.

:school:
 
#60 ·
Evolutionarily speaking, marriage is an outgrowth of the "pair bond" necessary to allow pregnant and recently-delivered women and their children to survive during a time when they are much more vulnerable to predation and starvation than other comparable mammals. Sex is the glue for that pair bond. With the exception of bonobos, humans may be the only species where females are (theoretically) receptive to copulation, and males are looking to copulate every day of the year.

If the pair bond is about sex, marriage is about property rights. Exclusivity of sexual contact encourages males to take good care of offspring and their moms. If mom only coupled with him, he can assume the baby is his. Marriage transforms screwing, and all the other relations necessary to secure the continuity of a pair bond and the family it produces, into a set of property rights. Sexual exclusivity is the fundamental one, but rights dealing with the status of women (available or not; in effect "owned" or not) and the disposition of property are part of the constellation of rights that are focused around the staus of marriage.

Evolutionarily speaking, you're telling your girlfriend that she should screw as many other guys as she wants. You are encouraging her to find a better sperm match for her eggs.

:school:

Philanthropy major?

I do agree with this statement though. You find the partner that you want to produce your offspring. That's the one.

Society has changed much of our view and even value of marriage. Hence why divorce rates have skyrocketed in many cultures and societies around the world.

Get married so you can be a sheep. Or as Fatass SVS said, tell her g/f to find a better match and do so yourself as well. Providing you don't feel she is the one for you.
 
#25 ·
If I wasn't a religious man and I didn't believe that marriage is part of a larger eternal plan, maybe I wouldn't find any reason for marriage either... maybe I would be too selfish myself to admit what I'm about to write.

I think that (proper) family is the base of the morals that sustain real civilization. If you are not willing to commit to your SO and proving it by putting it in contract, how can you ever commit to your fellow citizens and country? Yes, I think selfishness is going to be the doom of our civilization and not willing to commit to the person that's supposed to matter the most for you is just the beginning.

The United States of America is a great country thanks to what its founding fathers did for all of us. They committed to others and were willing to give their lives to keep that commitment. Heck, they even put it in a contract... they all signed the constitution... even when they didn't "have to". Now, where do you think they learned that from? Yes, the answer is as simple as "family"... as watching mom and dad committed one to the other no matter what.

Where, if not within a committed family, will future generations learn the base that we need to keep this world going?

Do you want your child to say "well, my dad loves my mom... but he is selfish, he doesn't love her enough to commit to her"? What will he learn of that? Selfishness.... and that's pretty pathetic.

So my opinion is that the only reason NOT to get married is selfishness... and I repeat: Selfishness is going to be the doom of our nations.




Sent from my other shoe using the Motorcycle app
 
#26 ·
If I wasn't a religious man and I didn't believe that marriage is part of a larger eternal plan, maybe I wouldn't find any reason for marriage either... maybe I would be too selfish myself to admit what I'm about to write.

I think that (proper) family is the base of the morals that sustain real civilization. If you are not willing to commit to your SO and proving it by putting it in contract, how can you ever commit to your fellow citizens and country? Yes, I think selfishness is going to be the doom of our civilization and not willing to commit to the person that's supposed to matter the most for you is just the beginning.

The United States of America is a great country thanks to what its founding fathers did for all of us. They committed to others and were willing to give their lives to keep that commitment. Now, where do you think they learned that from? Yes, the answer is as simple as "family"... as watching mom and dad committed one to the other no matter what.

Where, if not within a committed family, will future generations learn the base that we need to keep this world going?

Do you want your child to say "well, my dad loves my mom... but he is selfish, he doesn't love her enough to commit to her"? What will he learn of that? Selfishness.... and that's pretty pathetic.

So the only reason NOT to get married is selfishness... and selfishness is going to be the doom of our nations.




Sent from my other shoe using the Motorcycle app
I share similar fears, but I'm not sure it'll come to the doom of our nations. Depravity may drive us to seek out proper guidance and morals. We shall see, and perhaps in my lifetime too.
 
#32 ·
you know why divorces are so expensive....THEY ARE WORTH IT!
Although I got out easy...Its cheap when your broke.
While in the Army I gave the crazy ex wife 2 weeks notice to Get the Eff out.
It cost me $260.00 plus a washer/dryer and a couch....PEACE!

Recently I kicked the GF out ...That cost me $5 G's.
Needless to say, I'm anti marriage for my self. I do not want kids, so I dont see the point. Everything else in life can be accomplished with out being married.
Most girls just want their "BIG" day and do not really think beyond that. Trust me, I have dated the type. Most parents do not have money set aside for their little girls big day anyhow...so, its more debt on me...for what? less sex, NO head, and less money to save or spend?


LOL thanks for letting me take a min to vent...speaking of, I owe you all a min of your life back. Cheers
 
#36 ·
you know why divorces are so expensive....THEY ARE WORTH IT!

[snipped]

its more debt on me...for what? less sex, NO head, and less money to save or spend?

Cheers
I'll agree with the top portion...every penny spent in mine was worth it. You would probably get along well with my ex based off your last comment. ;)

Ever think that you're not meeting quality girls because of your own expectations on how we should behave and perform? It goes both ways...you need to give a little, to get a little. :)
 
#33 ·
Haha, so that's what it all boils down to?

People these days are making the biggest decision of their lives based on how much sex they want to have and how "free" they want to be to do anything they want without any sort of accountability to a life partner?

Bravo world! You're doing just great!





Sent from my left shoe using the Motorcycle app
 
#43 ·
Why is it that divorces seem to always cater to the "poor wittle helpless woman" . I have seen so many guys lose their a$$ in a divorce and the woman make out huge. Everybody assumes its the guy who effed up and the woman is the victim. Remember there is no Law against cheating (unless you are in the military). The military member may NOT cheat..the non military member can do as he or she pleases.
I have had buddies mess up on the girl...also girls mess up on the buddy...guess what...they both lost about everything. House, cars ,accounts, plus......wait for it...spousal support payments...FOR LIFE! Or unless they get married again. However that won't happen..the ladies in both sides are living the life now. Why would they give that up.
 
#51 ·
My husband and I met when I was 16 and have been dating since we were juniors. We got married when I was 22. I have been told (warned?) that the odds of us splitting is very high. I don't really care what those people think. We got married because we wanted to promise to spend the rest of our lives together.

Even though we have only been married for 5 years, we have been through a lot of the "better" and quite a bit of the "worse". Marriage isn't easy... I think what makes a marriage work is when both people want it to. As soon as one person doesn't care to stay married anymore, that's when it will fail. I also think our society is so engrained in immediate satisfaction that as soon as things get rocky, it is easier to bail and give up.

Marriage isn't right for all people, and there isn't anything wrong with that. It shouldn't be a decision that is taken lightly and it shouldn't be something that you do "just because" or because you feel pressured to. Those marriages I believe are the ones that become another divorce statistic.
 
#52 ·
Fatty and Biya for the win! ;D

Sent from my other shoe using the Motorcycle app
 
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